💔 Releasing the Blame: A Compassionate Reflection on Pregnancy and Infant Loss
- Ready Nest Counseling
- Apr 2
- 2 min read
There is an unspoken pain that so many mothers carry—the weight of blame after pregnancy or infant loss.
It's a grief that’s deeply personal, often invisible, and sometimes shrouded in shame. At Ready Nest Counseling, we hear it often:
“What did I do wrong?”
“I should have known…”
“I should have done more.”
And the first thing we want you to hear is this:
Those feelings don’t mean you failed—they mean you loved deeply.
🤍 The Blame Is Love in Disguise
When something happens to our child—whether it's a scraped knee or an unimaginable loss—our instinct is to protect. We search for ways we could have prevented it, because that illusion of control can be comforting, even if it's not true.
“If anything ever happens to your baby, the first thing we do is blame ourselves.”“Oh, they skinned their knee—I should’ve been watching. They dropped their books—I should’ve helped.”
This isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign of motherhood.You love fiercely, and with that comes a natural instinct to take responsibility.
But when that instinct turns inward and becomes self-blame, it stops serving you. It becomes a barrier to healing.
🕊 You Are Not Broken—You Are Grieving
Grief is messy. It’s rarely linear, and it doesn’t always make sense. After a pregnancy or infant loss, the mind desperately tries to make meaning out of something that often has no clear cause or reason.
And when there are no answers?
We tend to blame ourselves.
Because at least that gives the pain a place to land.
But the truth is, most pregnancy losses come with many unknowns. And in most cases, there is no one to blame—especially not you.
Even if something did go wrong, we want to gently remind you:You did what every loving mother would do. You acted with care. You leaned on your team. You trusted your instincts.
Sometimes, even when we do everything right, the outcome still isn’t what we had hoped for.
🌷 How Healing Begins
We don’t expect you to “move on” or “get over it.”At Ready Nest Counseling, our licensed therapists—serving both Nashville and Knoxville—create safe, supportive spaces for you to process loss on your terms.
Together, we work to:
Gently release the burden of blame
Explore grief without judgment
Acknowledge the depth of your love and loss
Help you rebuild self-trust and hope
You did everything you could. You loved with all your heart. And that love still matters—no matter the outcome. This healing work isn’t always easy. But it is possible—with support.
💌 You Deserve Support
You don’t have to carry this alone. Whether you’re processing a recent miscarriage, grieving an infant loss, or navigating pregnancy after loss, we’re here to help.
We serve families across Nashville and Knoxville, Tennessee💬
Let’s take this next step together—with grace, compassion, and healing.
With love,
Ready Nest Counseling