Making Meaning After Pregnancy Loss: When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned

As soon as a woman sees that positive pregnancy test, the mental planning begins. Baby names, due dates, holiday trips, maternity leave—it all starts swirling in the background like a quiet hum of excitement and anticipation.

But when those plans are unexpectedly halted by pregnancy loss, everything changes. The dreams, the timelines, the to-do lists—they don’t just disappear. Instead, they linger in the silence, in the spaces left behind.

At Ready Nest Counseling, we work with so many couples navigating this deeply painful and confusing time. One theme we often hear? The struggle with what we lovingly call the “consolation prize moments.”

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In this heartfelt video, Emily Pardy from Ready Nest Counseling gently explores how couples navigate the “consolation prize” moments—like vacations or anniversaries that were never meant to look this way—and how processing grief can also create space for meaning and memory-making.

The Vacation That Wasn’t Meant to Be

It’s not uncommon for couples to go on a vacation in the months after a loss. Often, it’s a trip they would have never taken had they been in the third trimester or caring for a newborn.

From the outside, it might look idyllic—sand between your toes, sipping coffee on a mountain porch, posting smiling photos online. But inside, the narrative is so different.

“We shouldn’t be here. We should be home. With our baby.”

It’s not ungratefulness. It’s grief. And it’s valid.

Pregnancy Loss Makes The Calendar Heavy

There are dates that weigh heavier than others after a loss—what would have been a due date, a baby shower, or the first Mother’s Day. It’s important to acknowledge those dates. To let them mean something.

Sometimes, couples choose to mark the day with a hike, a letter, a candle, a donation, or simply some quiet. Other times, the day comes and goes, and the sadness hits anyway. Both experiences are normal. Both deserve space.

So How Do We Make Meaning?

Grief often makes us feel out of control. But one of the most healing things we can do is to gently take back some of that agency by finding ways to honor our baby, our love, and our journey.

Making meaning doesn’t mean replacing what was lost. It means creating space to feel it, name it, and carry it forward with compassion.

Here are a few ways we’ve seen families make meaning after loss:

• Create a memory box with ultrasound photos, letters, or a special keepsake

• Mark the due date with a ritual or act of kindness

• Name your baby, even if it’s just between you and your partner

• Seek support—from a counselor, a support group, or a trusted friend

You Are Not Alone

Whether your loss was recent or years ago, your grief is real. And it deserves to be honored.

At Ready Nest Counseling, we provide professional, compassionate support for women and families facing pregnancy loss, infertility, postpartum challenges, and all the tender places in between.

We’re here for you—in Nashville, in Knoxville, and anywhere this journey takes you.

💛 Watch the video: Finding Meaning After Pregnancy Loss – with Emily Pardy

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🕊️ You are loved. You are seen. You are not alone.